Musicals: Quick Versions

Les Miserables:	Ex-criminal can't catch a fucking break. Crazy cop can't handle multi-dimensional personalities. Boring love interest remains everyone's least favorite character. Everyone you love dies.
The Phantom of the Opera:	Overly dramatic opera singer is caught between a dick boyfriend and a serious case of Stockholm syndrome.
Wicked:	Misunderstood loner chick tries to help people and everyone fucks her over anyway.
West Side Story:	Romeo and Juliet with really tame gangs and sassy Puerto Ricans.
Grease:	If your asshole love interest doesn't like your personality, change everything about yourself.
Rent:	AIDS sucks.
Cats:	Freaky looking cats. That's it. There's literally no plot.
Spring Awakening:	Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die.

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